Monthly Archives: February 2008

A common man’s woes

The members of “I don’t know how NOT to behave rudely” club need to be sent to Alcatraz. Rudeness for no reason can get into the nerves of any sane person. When people realize that they are at an advantage, do they have to show off that they are at an advantage by being rude?
This is the incident which prompted me to write this post.
Staying at home away from home, Canteen is our ultimate source for food. Now, it’s better not to talk about the increasing prices and decreasing quantities. Today, it was too much, maybe, because I was too hungry, and the lady at the counter gave me half a plate of what I actually paid for. I just demanded, please give me some more and she snaps,” How much will you eat”? As if I’m a glutton who finishes off all the food available there. By the way when I’m paying for it what’s her problem? What position do you find yourself, under these circumstances? You literally beg for food? (OK!I’ll stop over-reacting here).

A common man, who has to confront authorities for matters regarding his day-to-day existence, paying bills, paperwork, getting certificates, issuing licenses,passports, booking tickets, sending applications etc, seriously begins to wonder….

Has the government recruited retards in the services, where people choose to remain blind, deaf and dumb when it comes to providing any service to a common man? Their signatures on documents seem to be more precious (rather expensive) than getting an autograph from Matt Damon.
Yet their eyes are wide open to check the amount of bribe you’ll be able to offer.
Their hearing imparities are cured for few seconds, when you grumble or murmur against them.
When they can hear, they speak up, and snap at you, for your actions.
And when you oblige, they can actually sign on whatever paperwork needs to be done.

When a common man approaches authorities, does the government rule state that the action plan should be something like????…
* The authority should read the same file, the same page, maybe even the same line without batting an eye-lid for 20 minutes or longer and keep the customer or client waiting. ( We expect wholehearted committment from you in your work).
*The authorized person has to look cross when he sees the face of a person, who is unfamiliar in the territory. ( Beware of strangers in Government offices, since you deal with a lot of sensitive issues)
*A familiar person, who has been knocking at your doors, since time immemorial to get his work done has to be ignored deliberately.
*When the facial expression of the client changes visibly and you fear, he may pull all your hair out or you feel there’s a threat to your life, you may kindly oblige and ask him to be seated. ( We care for our employee’s well being).
* When you find the facial expression has come back to normal and you heave (rather the customer heaves) a sigh of relief, you may switch to Action plan 2.

Action Plan 2:
* You have to attend or make 20-25 phone calls when the client is seated in front of you.( you’re expected to be a multi-tasker while working).
*You listen to what the person has got to say for about like 5 minutes, excuse yourself by just getting up from your seat and walking off, to take a break. (All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy).
*You have to take long breaks and keep yourself updated on all international, national, regional, local and even next-door affairs. ( Employees are expected to keep themselves acquainted with day-to-day happenings)
*You may come back and ask him to repeat his queries and problems all over again. (In case, you want to hear more in detail)

*If you find a small loophole in the person’s case, you may send him to another authority or person concerned (supposedly concerned) and brush him off.
* Any further questions from the client should be answered with an ignoring nod or an “I don’t know” (in a tone, putting pressure on all your vocal chords)… Afterall, we (employees) have no time to waste.
*In case you can’t find any loophole, make sure he comes back to you again and again. (for client loyalty is our mission).

Exceptions:
*If the client is a young girl or a woman, you may jeer or pass lewd remarks.
Or you may, even go out of your way to help the fairer sex till you’re threatened by The Women’s commission and other similar organizations, though it may take time for them to plunge into action.
*For issuing licenses, make sure the client has walked up and down, in and around for a minimum of 30 days and a minimum aggregate of 30 kilometers in the RTO office.
*While issuing certificates, always make sure, to keep a hand outstretched beneath the table for that extra-earnings. So also, you needn’t bother whether a birth certificate is being issued after the person’s death.
* When it comes to paying bills, longer the queue and the slower it moves, greater is your efficiency.
*When the purpose is issuing tickets, never give change and the long queue efficiency principle applies here also.
*After all, you have your job for granted; there is nothing to worry about.

*The so-called suggestion boxes or complaint boxes (if there are any) are meant to be show-pieces.
* Any authority dealing with redressing of complaints or common man’s problems have to follow the above-mentioned rules.

Finally, if a person chooses to work, without abiding by the said rules, he may ignore the ridicule from his colleagues and counterparts and win the hearts of, many a common man.

In the end, the common man feels like a helpless idiot, being sent from one person to another, from one office to another, till his tolerance levels are tested to the maximum.
There can be an outburst, he can complain against this injustice, he can keep pestering the authorities till his work his done, yet the common man chooses to remain silent and go through all this torture, because he knows all this is going to fall on deaf ears.
Yet, we keep grumbling!!!!!
I’m sure each one of us have some experience to share be it in the passport office, the RTO, the Police station, Railway authorities, Corporations etc…

(PS: These days, I have only been grumbling and complaining but where else can I do so?)

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A girly observation

Why do certain psycho freak females irritate me so much? Why do I feel their brains have just popped out of their skulls and went flying away to Kiribati islands? These are girls who are called friends. Now, where do you determine the parameters of friendship? I haven’t figured out…

The most famous of the lot, college friends or rather acquaintances, for whom every other girl is a bitch. They seem to know the entire life history of the so-called bitch than what the bitch herself knows!

Girls who find every random guy cute, and go on “OOoooooooooh! He’s so cuuuuuttttttteeeee yaaaa…and that bitch is going out with him”.
Forget about any random guy, these girls need to go back to their school to learn what the word cute means and when to use them. The other day I was stuck in some traffic signal and I hear girls say “Hey, it s soooooo cuteee” pointing at something. I craned my neck and saw that they were pointing at some kids on the street, who were displaying some sort of acrobatics with hoops. How on earth is that cute????? (Maybe these are exceptions, not all stupid gals would do that).

Girls who are desperate. You walk or talk with some friend or cousin (who happens to be a guy) and the obvious question from a desperado,” Hey you gotta guy?” Are you bonkers?
You: Oh God! No, he was my cousin or an old friend or…..blah blah…
Now these gals will bond with you all of a sudden to get that person’s number. Sometimes, its fun to drive them crazy.

There are certain girls who are depressed and feel sorry for you because you don’t have a boyfriend. That’s called concern! They are hell-bent on fixing you up with some friend or friend’s friend or friend^3. You go out with them and always run into some odd friend or friend’s friend or the circle of friends… whatever… And some of them do fall for it, the results of which can be disastrous! Oh what a life without a boyfriend man, you should enjoy life with one comes the gyaan. (Ah! Thanks for that valuable advice).

One day in college, a certain (not-so) happily committed Female (H.C.F) is sad.
Like a fool I walk up to her,” Hey, what happened? “
H.C.F,” I wanna die. I hate him”
Me,”Errr.. Why”
H.C.F,”He didn t wish me good morning today, I was waiting for his message or call. But he didn’t. He doesn’t love me anymore, for the past few days…. Read rewinding their love life to the days it began when roses were red and violets never became blues…”.
Me ( thinking of saying), ” For the past 18 years or so (till you knew this guy), whose good morning message did you rely upon to live or die?”.
You realize it’s wise to keep your mouth shut and your ideas to yourself at times!
Around afternoon the same day, she comes jumping up and down with joy, “hey he didn’t have balance, Oh good I’m such a fool, I know he’ll never betray me.”
Good morning message and betrayal? What s the correlation? Oh ! Yes you were a fool! I forgot.

Another day, another gal of the H.C.F says” I wanna die”.
Oh girl is it a good afternoon message now?
“I gave up everything in life for him and he’s doing this to me. I hate that A*****e. He screwed up my life, my happiness, my everything”.
Why do they think “I wanna die” is a solution for all their problems.
“Jo, good that you’re single. These guys suck. They never understand. Never fall for a guy, blindly. ” ( thanks for the advice dudette).
Then its long term depression till she finds another eye-candy to take revenge on her ex.

Silly girls, their boyfriends, their tantrums and the confession phenomena irritate me the most. You seriously begin to wonder only if I could inject some sense into this freak’s head. They come to you for advice or think you’re a confession box, who is not supposed to talk back. When you give an opinion pat comes the reply,” You don’t know, it’s difficult when you’re in a relationship”.
Then why do you bother talking it out to me. Speak to that wall. It will be non-judgmental yet listen to all that bullshit. By the way never point it out to a girl when she is wrong. You’ll be faced with dire consequences.
The Happily Committed Females Inc and their counterparts stories are numerous, and before my friends relate to the examples and decide to bash me up I’ll stop here.

Next gang, the so-called HIP gang. ( I’m still unsure whether the word is spelt with an ‘I’ or an ‘E’ coz I was never a part of one). They walk around like branded showrooms and here are excerpts from a conversation overhead..(who said I’m a saint?)
“hey nice top, where from..?”
“Naah… it’s too common, this one is from… (some name I couldn’t comprehend) happens to be a famous designer in Bangalore”
“Oh!.. hey why did you repeat that shirt again” repeat words, repeat sentences, repeat lines,, repeating shirts?..oh k! (pardon my Ignorance).
“Those shoes cost me bloody ….k, but it looks worth it right”?
“hey, we’re going partying to … this weekend, you coming?”
“Hey that woman s a B***H (read a lecturer), she took my brand new Nokia ___ phone and won’t give it back”.
“Did you check out so and so perfume”… and other H*P things , which I didn’t have the time to listen.

The intellectual gang, whose conversation goes way above my head and hence, I have nothing to write about them. So also do the self-proclaimed feminists. Never make the mistake of having a conversation with them. So do I hate the show offs!
There is a certain, breed who wouldn’t believe even if you tell them a hundred times or swear on yourselves or at them. Let’s call them WLF for the time being. (No, I didn’t miss a O).
WLF,” hey do I look thinner now?”
“Ahh! yes, you do”.
WLF,” No, you are lying, I’m still fat.”( Fat here refers to fitting into S size clothes and not being able to fit into XS size).
These Weight Loss Freaks (WLF) can drive you to insanity with their weight loss troubles and occasional faints due to starvation.

Last but not the least, the people who make fashion statements. Fashion doesn’t mean skimpiness right? When girls themselves feel embarrassed to look at certain girls who are making the fashion statements, how far does it go?
The funniest of the lot I’ve observed is, Girls who make Fashion statements, their fashion is awesome, but when they make a statement, as in, a verbal statement you wonder, Oh! God why did I even ask? She was better off with her mouth shut. Beauty with brains, becoming an extinct species???
The tomboys and adventurous lot. Fun-loving people, as long as they set limits to what kind of fun. But when they go overboard I choose to stay away.
So, do the seemingly pious and innocent looking girls, who are the storehouse of the most unheard of gossips in college, who suck up to the lecturers and nuns and have their way with it.
They exemplify the fact “Looks can be deceptive”.
But it’s not that bad after all. Each one is special in their way. Just that when certain things are certain right, it goes wrong somewhere else.

Where does this leave me? I’ve been bitching about all possible species, does that mean I’m left without friends? No ways, It’s just that variety adds spice to life and if these specimen wouldn’t have existed, life would have been very boring! After all, God gave it to all of them, just that they sometimes they don’t use it at the right places and right times (applicable to guys too) yet, as an amalgamation of the lot, WE ROCK!!!


Choices and Decisions

Mol ippo enthina padikkunne?”( What are you studying now?) I’m not spared of this question wherever I go. Be it the shopkeeper in the neighbourhood or the achayans and achyathis in church or any social or formal gathering, or even just meeting a person randomly.
Me doing my B.A in B’lor
“Why did You have to go all the way to Bangalore to do just a B.A”? I have faced this question thousand times, from the nearest of kin to the farthest of acquaintances.
The suggestions that come pouring in following my answer.. You should have gone for engineering. What s the use of having just a degree? What will you do? Do you wanna take up teaching as a profession? You should have repeated Kerala entrance. You will end up in a call-centre job now na? blah.. blah.. blah… people around never seem to get tired of kibitzing when it concerns others, while they have no solution for their own problems in life.
I have my own reasons for choosing a B.A degree as well as opting to do it in a place outside Kerala.
Having done decently well in class X, it was a crucial decision to choose the stream after that. As everyone did, I too opted for Science stream. Eventually, I joined coaching classes ( I was an anti-tuition view holder but ended up doing it), burnt a hole in dad’s pockets for the exorbitant fees at the institute, struggled to cope up with the demands, and slowly realized this is not what I’m meant to do. I was in a miserable state then, from a good student my level fell to just an average. This was a huge blow to my self-esteem and honestly, I was struggling really hard. Then came the entrance mania and I too gave a shot at all possible entrance exams,JEE, CET, BITSAT, AIEEE….etc etc..for the sheer time pass of bubbling, which seemed to be something I enjoyed. making wild guesses and darkening the bubbles…nice time pass.though I was determined that I was not going to opt for engineering. Today, when I look back I don’t regret the decision I took.
And, when I speak to my friends, I’ve figured out, not many are really happy with what they’re doing. Finding happiness in what I’m doing is what I wanted and what I got. I can’t imagine where I would’ve found myself, in case I’d chosen to move along with the crowd and opted for engg.
It’s unfair to sideline humanities like this. It’s not a loser’s subject. Every response I get, is like this “Oh! Arts? but….” Why aren’t people ready to accept it when we think different or act different? This world cannot be run only by custom-made engineers who spend their lives working in MNC’s. They seem to be content with the pay-packages, luxurious life-styles and foreign trips or on-sites
Globalization, FDI s, inflow of foreign capital, setting up of MNC’s etc have contributed a great deal in the progress of our country. But, when the very foundation of the society is shaken, when factors that hold the society together are ignored, what is gonna happen?
Where have they gone? The youth who were inspired by RDB and talked about revolution in society, the strong desire to make changes, the motivated lot, who wanted to make this world a better place?
I have part of the answer, Quite a lot of them, have headed to foreign universities for scholarly pursuits. In their SOP’s they would definitely mention how after the completion of the course they will prove to be beneficial for their home country. Few years, down the line ,the same person would remember his country only when his stomach grumbles for home-made stuff or he faces the wrath of the natives. Those who are left behind in India, are whiling away their time in pubs and discotheques , malls and hangouts during weekends and rotting away most of their lives in corporates. The unemployed and jobless have also found interesting jobs in the form of campaigning for political parties, strikes, bandhs, destroying public property,murder, being involved in goondaism and the lot. They are more than employed, lured by the worthless and useless political parties.
Talk about even a younger lot and honestly, these days I’m really scared to get into the bad books of a school going kid. You never know when you’ll get shot at, by a peekri payyan. (A small boy). A whole lot of peekri payyans are initiated into the bad ways of this good world at a tender age.In this manner, where are we headed to?
I know I’m digressing, but this is how my thoughts gradually took effect. This blog is meant for all those dissatisfied engineers and engineers in the making, to contemplate, but mainly for my younger brethern and sistahs to make the right choice regarding what they want to do… It matters a lot. For all those nosey, closest of kin and farthest of acquaintances , achayans and achayathis and all those who think only engineering is useful for a career, who are far more bothered than me myself, about my career and future…. Go Get a Life.
We’re faced at crossroads of life everywhere. Its when you take the road less travelled, that people turn around and look at you, and they pinpoint you. But, when you tread this path, you ought to make it big. Then once again, people would turn around to look at you. And this time they wouldn’t pinpoint you. It would be a look of awe! and maybe, they would guide others to travel in the same path treaded by you.


It ought to move on! :)

Dear God….!
You’re just great. There is none like you who can play around so much…
One day you make feel like shit and the next day you make me feel on top of the world!
I was going through a really bad phase and had become an emotional wreck (it’s not a case of being ditched :P, I’m still a singled out single..k I’m overusing the term these days.., it’s just a matter of being misunderstood for wrong reasons by close friends)

All I had to say was, ” God, Why is this happening to me?”.

And then it all came as a big surprise…Thank you so much God!

A call from CL and absolutely by fluke I made it to Tycoons city finals, I’d even forgotten that I had given the prelims in college.
A few good words and lots of encouragement from a totally unknown lecturer…
Conversations with few special people
To realize that, some people will always be there for you no matter what ( parents come first in the list).
To know that what you wrote was just at the right moment for another person…
And then you know, Life just moves on …..

Yet, it hurts when
Those wide smiles of joy shared narrows down to a mere widening of lip muscles
Those hugs now become mere handshakes
The eerie silences and efforts to pretend as if nothing happened is straight on your face
The memories of good times spent together, many of which are in this blog, come flooding back and your eyes are flooded with tears too…

I accept where I went wrong and vow not to repeat them again
And it gives me some sort of sadistic pleasure to see the same people do the same things that I was accused of…

And again I know

It’s just the ups and downs in life that makes it adventurous and worth living.
Tears and smiles add to the colours of life.

Thank you so much God and all those who made me realize the value of friendships and relationships

(Dearest pals,, a few people who read my blogs please do pray for me for the finals, it’s not about winning honestly its just that, I’m afraid of being the last one coz I’ve absolutely no business or commerce background)

This post was just a self-ego booster!


What was left unsaid

When you realize your intentions were not wrong, yet they were perceived to be wrong

When you learn, it’s really really tough to handle people you care for,

When you accept, once a bond is broken, it’s hard to rebind

When you come to know, people you considered best of friends, turned out to be foes

When you see it’s all drifting away…

When you know your effort to bring it back is futile

You realize, it hurts to give someone so much of space in your lives

What you built up step by step. Comes crashing down in a few seconds

When the silence is agonizing

When the distance is harrowing

When you feel nobody is worth your tears yet, once upon a time their tears were yours…

When you know all you wanted is their good but the tables were turned against you

You concede what was said or done cannot be unsaid or undone

When you know there is no other choice but let it go,

No more explanations to offer, no more tears to shed

No more justifications, no more confrontations

When you feel lonely in everyone’s presence

You learn the virtue of selfishness

You learn the lessons of life, the hard way

And you feel like shouting,” Life can be a bitch”…. Ya, it can be a sweet bitch

You have 2 choices to make:

Justify yourself and feel good…

Accept your mistake and feel like a big loser…

Maybe, you should just write it all down during a particular Economics class

And then you figure out

“This too shall pass, time definitely heals”

Just the time spent on writing this down was enough to bring a smile back to my face…
(I had vowed not to be an emotional fool in writing my blogs, but this is the only way for me to talk it out)


Pre-Valentine blues..oops hues

The season of love, roses, romance, red and hearts is back… I seriously wonder do they actually need a day to express their love for each other. No, I’m not here for the Anti-Valentine campaign which is also making its mark everywhere these days, promoted by people who have their own reasons to hate Valentine’s day.
Being self-obsessed as usual, I’m just recounting the pre-valentine happenings around me… Last Saturday was the d-day when I went out and learnt about face values. I entered Archie’s in Coms where obviously, everything was red! Somehow faintly, it reminded me of a war-field. In spite of the sales people, trying to keep things in order, the unruly crowd of girlfriends and boyfriends and lover girls and lover boys were pulling and pushing their way through, scattering all those softoys and cards. But, the sales people didn’t give those discourteous looks they give otherwise, maybe even they are in love or probably coz their sales figures were shooting up. I was making my way to the other end of the shop, but the legion of Valentines wouldn’t let me go. I saw few of my acquaintances, juniors, batch mates and friends, whom I didn’t fail to recognize this time, but somehow I felt many would have thought only if I didn’t recognize them. Coz last year around the same time, I remember how we had a heated discussion on how inane Valentine’s Day was. The red hearts, red soft toys, red paper wrapped chocolates and other multitude of red gifts definitely left me dazed. For sometime, I was lost in this world; after all even I’m a young gal. I forgot the purpose for which I had entered Archie’s.
Brought back to reality by one of the juniors..
K says, “hey Jo, Valentine’s Day special huh?”
I, with a smirk, err… “No ya, wanted to pick up an anniversary card”
K, “oh, I know I know, O.K. excuse me, I gotta go, bye, see you” and she scoots.
Me,”Hey, listen…eh….lost…”…she is gone…
And you can imagine the questions and questioning looks I had to face after getting back. To add on to suspicions on me, the Archie’s people packed the gift and card in a cover with hearts and “with love” written on it. News of any form, takes no time to spread in a girls hostel. There are no qualms of having a Valentine but seeing a seemingly single senior in Archie’s at this point of time, is surely something they wouldn’t want to keep for themselves!
Why did my uncle and aunt’ wedding anniversary have to fall on this weekend only? And why did I have to go to Archie’s at that point of time? Forget it. Misunderstood for the wrong reasons again!
The whole week, its only Valentine’s in the air. The whole college went on fits of laughter when the announcement came,” Girls, You won’t be allowed to wear anything in red on Thursday”… this was far more ridiculous than what our warden said last year,” I’ll tell the security not to let any of you girls out, I’ll lock the doors” and what did we end up doing?
Another incident occurred in class today. With only 15 minutes left to wind up and all of us screaming…”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’m noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” when she decided to start on a new topic. She said,” I know Thursday, most of you wouldn’t turn up. So I’ll finish it off now”… now what did that mean?
Valentine’s Day is no more a day for only the young and the lovers. Its meant for all, spread across all age groups, for friends, relatives, parents and kids and for everyone who want to express their love… So also these are days of jubilation for cards and gift shops, flower shops, restaurants and the lot as they expect mind-boggling sales figures…
As of now, I’m spending time with my new found love, blogging, and in a way, its our first anniversary too. What else do I do when a few of us singled out singles have no plans to make or discuss, or no preparations to look into? I spent enough time last year discussing about how senseless it is to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Its pointless to discuss again, coz I’m bored.
Today I read an article on how schools are celebrating the day. Hopefully Shiv Sena wouldn’t go barging in and torture the kids,that too for no reason.
An, occasion meant for love and happiness, is now showing contrary signs. The hatred(not really) of singles and frustrated towards the “in love” couples, hatred of moral police towards the influence of western culture in our society, hatred of not-influenced-by-valentine adults towards the spoilt younger generation, hatred of jilted lovers etc…
It s the season of love and happiness, and let’s celebrate it.
2 more days to go…let’s wait and watch what more drama is gonna happen!!!
Raising a toast for all singled out singles today…

Face Values…

“Your Roommate is such a b***h”, said one of my roommate’s friends to my roommate.
My roomy was shocked, but being a sweetheart that she is, she enquired as to what had happened and what made that person, give me such an unlikely description. (I’m an angel you see).

The story goes like this. The other day I was out with my friends and happened to see this girl. I’ve met her only once in my life. And my memory deceived me yet again. Guess I should have more chyavanprash…oops chavanaprasham to avoid more prashnams (problems) in my life with acute memory failures…or am I growing old? Or am I suffering from prosopagnosia
So this girl gave me a wide smile and I was quite unsure as to whom the person is and gave her a half smile… The full and half smiles clashed and I had to face the music later on. I can understand what the other person would’ve felt. She smiled at me and I gave her distraught look coupled with a half smile. It would’ve definitely hurt her ego and quite naturally, she would’ve reacted the way she did.

I learnt my lesson for the day! If a person who you faintly remember, or you think you have seen somewhere takes the initiative to smile at you or talk to you, do respond in a pleasant manner. Else your name values ( like the name/names I got), will be inversely proportional to the number of faces you remember( face values).On the contrary if you are quite unsure about the person, and you would like to initiate a conversation, please think twice. Chances of you making a fool of yourselves are quite high. But what if you miss an opportunity to renew an old acquaintance? This is all so confusing.

If only I could find a solution… Does, NOT remembering a face make me a B***h?

Why are we misunderstood for the wrong reasons? Why are some unintentional acts perceived in the wrong way…? Is it possible to please everyone and live?

P.S: Dear friend, if you are reading this post, then please accept my sincere apologies.