Monthly Archives: January 2009

A trip down frustration lane

what happens when you’re forced into a trip???

Wednesday, much before Satyam was in hot soup, yours truly was bulldozed into going for a trip to the abomination that is ‘IFC’ . Do not consider my economist background and conclude its THE IFC … its just this particular innovation where idiots are meant to flock the city .

A bunch of mighty seniors and a herd of sissy juniors set off on the trip with our lecturers and a spaced out agent. The bus-trip was an exercise on my auditory, sensory, and nervous perceptions with ‘The Fray’ playing through the headphones in my right ear and radio mirchi playing loud in the bus.

No trip is complete without the photo-shoots, especially when trips like these have to be accounted in the newsletters or college magazines. Looking towards North, northeast, north-west, east, or west, facing the wrong camera or a wrong angle, I’m yet to see the outcome of the whole exercise.

The entrance of this place is characterized by statues, which did represent something . On the first look, you feel they are characters from ancient Greek mythology but a second look and you shift towards Europe. Curiosity got the better of us and I shot this question at the guide

” What do these statues depict?”

” Madam, these are statues. That is a waterfall where the statues add to the beauty. These pillars also have the statues. We have a mall coming up here soon, you can see the stores already there…. blah…blah” HE WAS THE GUIDE. Oh god! Where do they get these specimens?

” Oh OK…Thank You” Suppressing our laughter with all our might S and I moved away to a corner, yet the Guide saw us laughing at HIM. Whatay explanation I say!

” It must be European style, not the Greek ones” one of them in the gang opined.

***** says,” You should pester the guide into giving you the answer. You should prod them till you get a satisfactory reply. Anyways, Mr. TP will be here soon, he will have answers to all your questions.” Yes, Mr. you have many questions to be answered.

The tour package offered us only limited entry to a few star ATTRACTIONS. The guide ushered us into the 4-D theatre. We were waiting in the queue when I overheard this conversation between two silly juniors.

” Hey, who is that girl”.. (pointing at one of the mighty seniors) said the one whose hair coloring had gone all wrong. Looked like a 2 year old had his first experience of watercolors on this junior’s hair.

“I don’t know .. I’m a girl. I don’t look at girls. If you find her hot why are you asking me,” retorts the shorty. OMG! These CHILDREN. I thought my juniors made only intelligent conversations and deprived me of blog-fodder. Sometimes you feel so good about yourself when you come across people like them and hear such conversations. Dumbness still exists in these tough times of recession and depression.

Coming back to the 4-D movie. You wear those 3-D glasses, it becomes a 3-D movie. It is 4 dimensional when a snake comes on the screen and a jet of water is sprayed onto your face, symbolizing the snake spitting out venom. Next came a rabble of rats and air was blown to make us jump out of our seats. So much for feeling the fourth dimension phewww! Trust me even nursery kids would have booed at this.

Whoever came up with this ‘innovative idea’ must be hiding somewhere in Amazon for fear of his life.

****** asks ” Yes, JJ, you enjoyed it?”

Me trying to hide my disappointment and pasting a plastic smile : “Actually I was expecting some more adventure.”

Louis Tussaud’s wax museum was the next stop. I never knew people wanted their faces disfigured to this extent. Bill Clinton was the only one who looked a bit realistic. Angelina Jolie couldn’t be recognized if not for the label. Well, the ancient Mummy topped the list since there wasn’t any real face to compare with. After another reinforced realization on how each penny was being wasted we hopped over to Ripley’s believe it or not. Unbelievable is the word. Educative and informative, worth the money spent ( in specific terms-utility derived was equal to marginal product) is another word. Honestly, I enjoyed it.

Mirror maze was the only ‘fascinating experience’ A few smart ones like us, stayed back, chose not to follow the crowd and tried to get lost. While Sw came up with the logic, for every 2 lefts you find a mirror, it was fun to see people shout,’ Oh this is original’. Oh no! in addition, some screaming at their own reflections. Twice we reached the exit within 5 minutes of entry and retreated to get lost in the maze again. The third time, the security glared at us, sending the signals,’ if you don’t get out of this place I will throw you out soon’ and we exited.

After a delicious lunch, we headed to Aqua world. Structured almost like a beach, this was another example of paisa gone fizool. Pool under maintenance, said the notice at the entrance. A group of juniors started a game of beach-ball/throw ball whatever it is known as.

With an inflated notion that my expertise in playing catch the ball with my 6 year old cousins would come in handy and that of being a reasonably good player in class 5-7, I joined the game.

It was out of sheer respect and the sake of being civil that the kids didn’t throw me out of the court when it looked like their team would lose coz of my fouls :P. That is how my friends a mighty senior embarrassed herself in front of her juniors. I still get those funny looks whenever my path crosses with them. That explains why, my coffee intake has drastically reduced and visits to canteen have been stalled these days. It will take some more time to restore the mighty senior’s self-esteem. Damn that game of throw ball and the ‘towering’ juniors.

When the maintenance work was completed, we entered the pool just for the heck of cooling ourselves and our temper (for the money that went to the ‘POOL‘). The artificial beach, without any waves grrrr…. To add insult to injury, a maddo supposedly the Dj was playing Himesh Reshammiya songs. What a way to conclude an episode of sheer boredom and frustration.

Tea/Coffee-Salt less bonda later, we embarked on our return journey… No trace of TP whatsoever, to answer the numerous questions I had… Someone was pulling my hair from behind. Grumbling on my misery and sleepiness settling in, I had this irresistible urge to point at the notice inside the bus.

Any passenger trying to disturb other passengers are liable to be thrown out of the bus.”

The drab return journey ended and an hour later I was back home cursing the moment I was bulldozed into decided to go for this trip. An hour long vent to amma gave the idea for this blog 😛

On a serious note, just how do people manage to make business out of fun ? Exorbitant rates for nothing? A few minutes of adventure or fun? Okie, there are answers like returns to scale, huge capital outlay involved and how you need to price them in order to break even blah blah! However, it just doesn’t make sense. Do we really have to shell out so much of money for something as unproductive as this? A few hours of over-priced entertainment and fun? Before I go on rambling and end up writing a thesis on dissing the entire entertainment industry, I’d rather stick to the truth…

Another year has passed and my inability to gain any utility or fun from all this proves… I’m not growing any younger. Now I understand why that 3 year old niece of mine told me the other day,” you’re so boring”:P

PS: This post is dedicated to D who couldn’t make it to the trip and was sulking the whole day 😉

PPS: This post was born out of frustration for being forced into a trip….No offence meant to anyone whatsoever. Just a way to let it out