Monthly Archives: March 2011

Banker’s Banter-1

Now that I’ve drawn  my first salary and not a stipend, I can claim to be Banker with some dignity :). A lot has happened over the past 26 days in the least expected ways.

Few weeks before I got my posting,  in a boisterous tone laced with prejudice and contempt against the Kuttanad, Kottayam Mallus I said,” I hope its not somewhere around Kottayam”. Life taught me to be more humble when the posting order contained the name exactly what I didn’t want to see.

I packed my bags, I was ready to go and shit scared. I was getting back to the nomad phase again. The first hostel I saw, was plain awful. Disgustingly dirty room the only one vacant apparently. The ladies thought I was being snob when I refused to live there coz, I didn’t have much options. Apparently,  God’s own brides in that part of God’s own country do not take in working women.

And then, the last resort or the lesser evil of the two, a municipality hostel it had to be. The stench was so overwhelming that I retched and puked the butterflies that were already there in my stomach ( talk about killing language)  the moment I stepped into the building. The loos were worse than a public toilet and my first thoughts were ,”This whole claim about Mallus being super clean is so overrated”. ( You know how we proudly poke fun at our neighbours who don’t have a bath). I had reached a dead end. There was no other place to stay and  I was told to ‘swalpa adjust maadi’ in the local dialect.

I entered my first branch. My first proper workplace. Its not funny when you trip and bang your head on the panels at the entrance with your appointment letter flying off your hand and your duppatta, the shield with an over qualification of being the protector of your Chastity gets torn by the thorns on a plant, purely kept for aesthetic purposes. I have stopped seeing random incidents as signs these days, but I don’t know whether to take this as one.

I went in and by some magic of the universe or the generosity of the 14 people who exist there, I was made to feel at home instantly. Each day is filled with a new discovery, each person with a story of his/her own yet manage to paint the canvas that is ADB, so perfectly. I knew this was going to be memorable for a ‘starter’.


Between opportunity and uncertainty

There are some of us, who go round in circles in search of a direction in life.  I’m just plain bored of saying ‘trying to figure out what to do with my life’.That is soo 2010ish.

Much has been bragged on this blog on how I broke down the chains of confinement in Mallu land and decided not to take up engineering. And the moment people heard Humanities, the coveted three letter post became my reason of existence for many. But, my life unlike me has a mind of its own. It takes decisions, makes me go along with the adventure ride…sometimes I’m left battered and bruised and sometimes euphoric.

A career choice does not come easy. I am always plagued by the sheer thought of ‘is this what I am going to do for the rest of my life?’. My first stint in a corporate work environment came in the form of GOOGLE internship. Though I spent some of the best days of my life there, with a lot of firsts coupled with it…like my first flight, the first time I went clubbing, my first drink ( and the last) my first b’day without having my parents around, my first ‘surprise b’day party’, my first visit to a 5star hotel,  etc etc. The fact that I remember and rejoice at everything about the experience, except my work there is an indication that, it was something I did not want to do for the rest of my life.

Next came a trailer edition of ‘what I wanted to do with my life’ in IIM-B. I haven’t blogged much about it. I wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of colleagues and friends seeing my rants. Pointless rants that too. I wanted to do a Ph.d and the place convinced me to go ahead with the plans. But, my parents were against it. 5 years was too much time to invest for a girl who had come of age. The constant battle continued between us (continues to do so). I suffered quite a few nightmares in terms of my parents’ health and had to let go for the time being. Its tough.

Meanwhile by fluke, I got selected as a ‘banker to every Indian’. Since, B was getting onto my nerves by then the only escape I had was to join. I had zero expectations from this. There are nights when I cried myself to sleep wondering, “why am I doing this”. There is no value attached, people were discouraging me and my ego was hurt. Big time. I even put a post in angst.But, a few people who really knew me and mattered saw me through that phase. D, the three most important As of my life, J, K and L, a big thank you.

I had the choice of slamming the door on opportunity or walk into uncertainty. The lure of something secure in the place where I always belonged was an opportunity I decided not to give a miss. 2 weeks hence, and no regrets as of now.



There is just so much to write about. But, for the first time ever, ‘time’ is a constraint.