Once upon a time, birthdays used to celebrated. Until you climb up the ladder of twenties.
There are some of us, who were accorded stepmotherly treatment by stupid cupid ( courtesy DM). It was just not possible to find or accept someone, when you spent a lifetime celebrating the ‘joys of being single’. And then comes a time, when the panic button is switched on, alarms are raised, the full fledged ‘manhunt’ begins and you feel trapped.
“You’re getting the pic clicked today or else I will….”, the Mother almost issued a suicide threat. Yours truly who spent an entire week listening to the suicide threats of Kudumbashree members in Thrickodithanam couldn’t take anymore of such threats on a Sunday morning while regaining her consciousness from sleep overdose.
Showered and powdered, I was dragged by my collar and hauled into a photo studio. The photographer tried to hide his smile on hearing “matrimonial type” pic, exactly the kind of humiliation I was trying to avoid. Lights were switched on and the camera assault began. What more can you expect when you are made to smile at gunpoint, the gunpoint being the mother’s pointed stares…
“Don’t show your teeth, a faint hint of a smile will do”, Amma commanded. The photographer nodded in agreement and to add insult to injury said ,”Yes, She knows how such stuff is done pretty well”. I could almost imagine the photographer hiring my retired jobless Amma and handing over the letter of appointment as an assistant. The camera assault ended and the results were somewhat close to reality. Until the next day I found myself, rooted to a chessboard with an expression that clearly stated ,”What the hell am I doing here? This is so not me”
Clicked, processed, paid & uploaded, the manhunt commenced. Just in case you’re seriously wondering what to do with your life, please find a copy of Manorama’s sunday supplement and skim through the classifieds section. If you don’t feel suicidal please don’t take the pains to let me know.
The manhunt is an interesting process. With a pregnant roomie who has just completed her first trimester my enlightenment on Men of the world has increased manifold.
The default template is incomplete without god-fearing, religious and someone with a right mix of traditional and modern values. Teehee I know what you mean. I should be traditional when it comes to my duty towards your family and modern when it comes to me ignoring your duty towards the Kerala State Beverages Board which is totally understandable. But, when I see statements like ‘she should adjust with my parents’, the blood boils, traces of having listened to lectures on gender studies and womens’ sociology once upon a time resurface and I begin ranting. Seriously dude!!!
3 months in the district with 100% literacy and I now realize the overrated importance of ‘aristocratic family’. Brand value for belonging to some mootil, kaatil, veetil, kuttil, kalathil , parambil… In this 21st century there are people who still uphold the significance of these names in fetching a good bid for their sons…I’m speechless.
Then again, I’m not alone in this. All I had to do was a random search and find a whole LOT of familiar faces. Mean Cupid, I must say.
JJ Rambles 